Geoff Petrie, the Kings could use this guy, Mario Martinez. Right now, he's working at Las Guacamayas Taqueria in the Pescador neighborhood of San Jose del Cabo. There, he performs many tasks, but is recognized mostly for his agility and timing while carving with lightning speed and laser precision thin slices of marinated pork at the rotisserie. Atop the column of pork is stuck a fresh pineapple. When he finishes filling a taco with meat he flicks his long knife at the pineapple, cutting off a chunk that sails far from the rotisserie. Uncannily, the piece of pineapple almost invariably lands flawlessly atop the taco, without him looking at either. When not doing that, he's bolting about the restaurant, clearing tables, serving platters of quesadillas, flank steaks and the like. He may not know a basketball from a soccer ball, but he has all the skills the Kings could use - quick hands and feet, passing acumen and a teamwork consciousness. He may have to grow a few more inches, however, before boarding a plane for Sacramento.
Incidentally, we left Las Guacamayas last night again convinced that it offers the best value of any restaurant in the greater Cabo area. For $20 we had some sort of scramble of steak and poblano chile peppers (it's on the menu as "no que no" - didn't you say no?), tacos of martinated pork and steak, a quesadilla of the black corn fungus huitlacoche, and certainly enough beer. No tortilla chips greet diners, but a couple of fiery salsas, pico de gallo, grilled white onions and jalapeno chile peppers, sliced cucumber and wedges of lime arrive as soon as you are seated, if they aren't already on the table. Keep it in mind if you are headed south for the year-end holidays.