As veteran runners know, none of that will work. Your race photos still will make you look slightly ridiculous. In fact, it's Rule 2.38 in Runner's World staffer Mark Remy's "Rule Book." To wit:
"Brad Pitt could show up at the start of a marathon completely rested, tanned, toned, massaged, hydrated, and professionally styled, and ... in the photos Brad would look like a badly dehydrated Quasimodo having a seizure. This is the magic of race photography. If the folks who sold race photos were smart, they'd charge people not to send prints of their pics."
In every race photo ever taken of me, my mouth is open as if I've just gone into anaphylactic shock. Below is a shot of me rounding the corner near the end of the 2009 Dipsea trail race (where you run over Mount Tamalpais). Note the trail of blood and dirt going down my left leg (lovely) and the pained expression. Worse, I was passed in the final yards by the dude in the red shirt and backwards baseball hat.
Moving on, here's our last installment of Video Thursday. Today, it's a funny take on that bane of male distance runners everywhere -- bleeding nipples.