Working the Oscars Sunday night - here's proof that I toiled the evening away - mostly meant eating a lot of food, wishing that my office TV had TiVo, and trying to contain the snark as I channeled random thoughts into blurbs.
Some caffeine-fueled brain flashes didn't make it into the paper:
* If Beyonce's as bitter about her non-nomination as all the tabs would have us believe, then the girl deserves an Oscar for Best Game Face. Seriously, Beyonce's winning smile when J-Hud snagged her Best Supporting Actress award made us sorry we'd ever doubted the ever-lovely B-Yon (pictured, right). Also, I think I'm in the minority here, but I liked her seafoam green dress. Then again, she looks great in just about anything. So jealous.
* Watching Ryan Seacrest handle E!'s red-carpet duties just confirmed that he's truly the heir to Dick Clark's genial media throne. Seacrest makes kissing up to celebs and consoling "American Idol" losers look easy. Billy Bush should take notes.
* "Little Miss Sunshine's" Abigail Breslin seems refreshingly normal - especially if you compare her to that other pre-teen phenom, Dakota Fanning. I mean, I kinda liked that Breslin, nominated in the Best Supporting Actress category, looked bored during the ceremony - she even slumped down in her seat at one point. Really - if you were 11, wouldn't you be bored too? (Except for those moments, of course, when say Ryan Gosling or Jack Black saunters by).
* Anna Nicole Smith dissed! What, films such as "Illegal Aliens" and "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult" weren't high class enough to earn Smith a spot in the annual Dead Celebrities montage? So not cool.
* BFFs Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts - what were you thinking? Alone, each actress's dress was something of a disaster - Kidman's with that giant bow, Watts' with that sloppy, sloping neckline - but standing next to each other? I'm still recovering from the satorial shock of seeing Kidman's flame red paired with Watt's canary yellow during a pre-show carpet stroll. The horror.
* Gwyneth Paltrow - we get it. You're smart and classy and know how to pronounce words better than we ever will. Fine. Whatever. But stop acting like you already know this and are, just for kicks, rubbing it in. It's just not nice.
That's it, at least until next year - anyone want to start making bets on the 2008 winners?