Tuesday night, the Top 10 (you know, the ones you'll be paying to see this summer on the national tour) performed songs from the year they were born.
Blow out the candles: Is this party over or what?! The show almost made me ready for Neil Diamond week!
With the exception of maybe three performances, I felt like a hundred birthdays had passed before this show was over. Lackluster efforts and boring song choices abounded. If you missed it (or fell asleep), here's my wrap-up:
* Ramiele Malubay (1987): She sang Heart's "Alone." (Nice pick, Jason Barsky from 107.9. - check out his predictions. You rock!)
Randy Jackson: "I know you're under the weather, but it was not the right song choice. It was a little too big for you, not quite right. It was pitchy all over the place."
Paula: "I'm glad America has heard you sing. I know you picked it (the song) healthy." (What was up with Paula's silly sequin dress with black gloves? But, I digress.)
Simon Cowell: "It's not as bad as Randy said. The first part was OK, a bit shrieky and shouty. But, after last week, you'll get through on that performance."
* Jason Castro (1987): He sang Sting's "Fragile" (with guitar, of course).
Randy: "It was a very good choice of song, but dude, you didn't do anything new with it."
Paula: "You're staying true to who you are and your niche. But I missed the 'Wow' factor."
Simon: "You've had two bad weeks in a row, and I think it's time for you to start taking this seriously. It sounded like someone busking (huh?) outside the subway station."
Note to self: Am I awake? Do I have a pulse? Am I in a coma?
* Syesha Mercado (1987): She sang "If I Were Your Woman."
Randy: "This is the best I have ever heard you sing, including when you auditioned. It was stellar, it was unbelievable. I am shocked."
Paula: "This is going to be the moment that everyone remembers as when Syesha 'flipped it' and became a contender."
Simon: "I agree that it was the best performance so far, but I think you were reaching your limit toward the end of the song."
Note to Syesha: Way to rebound two weeks in a row.
* Chikezie (1985): He sang "If Only For One Night."
Randy: "It was an oldie but a goodie. But very old school for me. I just didn't love it for you. There wasn't enough vibe, enough energy."
Paula: "It was a good throwback, upping the tempo. You do have amazing vocals."
Simon: "I think you sang it well. But it was very cheesy. You have to show originality. I miss your personality."
* Brooke White (1983): She sang the Police's "Every Breath You Take."
Randy: "The first part was great. But I didn't love the band coming in. It was just OK.'
Paula: "I enjoyed it so much more than last week. It was unique."
Simon: "I totally agree with Randy. You on the piano, you picked up the tempo. But when the band came in, it was very old-fashioned. You'll stay another week, but you've got to work this out."
* Michael Johns (1978): Go Jason Barsky, go! Michael did just as you asked: Go for two Queen songs, "We Will Rock You," spliced with "We Are the Champions." Brilliant.
Randy: "Finally, you believe in yourself! It was the best performance since you've been on the show."
Paula: "We can shut our mouths. It's your shining moment."
Simon: "It's the first time I saw star potential. You've got it right. Confident. It's the only memorable performance so far tonight."
* Carly Smithson (1983): She sang Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." (Sorry Jason - he had this one going to Brooke.)
Randy: "It was an interesting song choice. I liked it, but I didn't love it. The run at the end wasn't in tune."
Paula: "I'm not crazy about it, but I'll buy it."
Simon: "Something didn't quite work. You seem uptight and tense. You've got to lighten up."
* David Archuleta (1990): He sang "You're the Voice," an Aussie song, It sounded a little "Up With People" for me.
Randy: "It was a strange song choice."
Paula: "I'm trying to figure this one out. I know you can sing the phone book."
Simon: "I actually didn't like the performance at all. It was all theme park, with animated creatures performing with you."
Note to David: Who is helping you with song choice - your dad? Ok, mini-low blow.
* Kristy Lee Cook (1984): OK, Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" threw us all for a loop. But props to Kristy. It probably saved her for yet another week.
Randy: "Great song choice. A very nice performance."
Paula: "It was a poignant, respectful song that shows your voice is getting stronger."
Simon: "It was your best performance by a mile and I believe the most clever song choice I've ever heard in years. It should keep you in the competition."
* David Cook (1982): He sang an outrageous version of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean," which actually hit the Top 100 in 1983. The album it's from, the legendary "Thriller," came out in '82.
Randy: "I've gotta say, that's the most original, most bold (take) I've heard on that. You might be the one to win the whole thing!"
Paula: "I was blown away at how smart, how brave, how willing you are. You're right to the edge."
Simon: "That was brave. It was amazing."
OK, so Season 2 finalist Kimberly Locke performs tonight on the live results show (at 9 p.m. on Channel 40) as part of the "Where are the 'Idols' now?" program.
My prediction: I would be concerned if I were Chikezie, Ramiele and - hold on to your Irish beer - Carly. She's just not connecting anymore, folks. And Kristy Lee is pulling on those heartstrings.
Note to executive producer Nigel Lythgoe: After Tuesday night, I would seriously consider cutting the results show back to half an hour.