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February 4, 2011
'American Idol': Dudsville in La-La Land

Judging brothers.jpg

By Leigh Grogan

AHHH! What in the heck was last night's "American Idol" audition junk-et in L.A.? Judge
Jennifer Lopez said it best: "OK, L.A.'s just crazy."

My "Idol" cohort Kathy M. quipped: "Didn't anyone take this seriously?"

From Tynisha Roches, 25, with the wireless mike, chasing Randy Jackson around the room - and scaring the Dawg no less, to Matt "Big Stats" Frankel, the free-lance music producer with "ties" to Chaka Khan, to Cooper "the Human Tornado" Robinson from "somewhere deep" in Arkansas, the auditions melted into a freak show.

And I heard some lingo I haven't been privy to: From "lubricate up" to "They be beefin!" Huh?

Thank goodness for the Gutierrez brothers (pictured), Mark, 28, and Aaron, 27, from Redlands. Their "Lean On Me" was the one example of real talent the whole night, though I'm not sure I'm down with Steven Tyler's assessment that it was "godlike."

The L.A. auditions also were the first to bring in the online contestants who made it through. None particularly impressive. Again, no word on how many golden tickets were handed out. Next Wednesday is - mercifully - the last night of auditions and it's close to home, in San Francisco.

Then, next Thursday Hollywood Week begins. At this point, well over 200 contestants will be involved. It's definitely going to be a cattle call. A one-and-you're-probably-done thing. The previews promise a lot of heartache and tears. And jeers to the judging threesome for putting through sooo many mediocre singers. They'll be regretting that.


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